How To Get Awesome

From the recently joined Facebook group, "I don't get drunk, i get awesome!".


" Getting Awesome" Involves the common term known as "binge drinking" though instead of getting drunk, you turn into something quite remarkable and admirable. People see how awesome you are at "TC"** or doing the "Spastic Robot"* and try to copy it to become awesome like you, but not as awesome.

Binge Drinking, the core term in this how to, involves drinking a large amount of alcohol in a small amount of time, to induce the influence of alcohol faster. Alcohol alters the chemicals of the brain affecting judgement,reaction times, inhibitions, the nervous system, and general normal control of the body. This can be a great thing or a horrible thing depending on who you are speaking to.

Please note there is a huge difference between Binge Drinking and Getting Awesome.

Binge Drinking and Getting Awesome start the same way, but become totally different things in my opinion.

Drunk Smile

Binge drinking is what most adolescents do on a friday/saturday night, to forget about their so called "dramas" and drink large amounts of beer, wine or spirits and let their inhibitions take over and ruin and/or make their night. This is all well and good, but really, wouldn't you rather tell someone about how awesome you got last night? Don't worry, i already know the answer to that.

Who's Awesome?

Getting Awesome, however, starts the same way, with anyone who is 18 or older "getting their drink on". Everything after this is completely different. Any dance moves you are performing become effortlessly complex and amazing,your confidence level goes through the roof, and you generally feel like Captain Awesome** and/or Barney Stinson***.

Tactical Chunder
The T.C. is performed when more drinking is required, and the stomach is full. This is an optional activity involved with Getting Awesome, but is not mandatory if you can hold your drink.

Stumbling
What may look like you stumbling to get somewhere during the night is an optical illusion. In reality, you are effortlessly gliding from one place to another, leaving behind a light trail of awesomeness.

Here are some pictures that may help you see what it is to get awesome.

Products for Binge Drinking

Vodka

Shots


Example of Getting Awesome:
Robot Dance

Robot Dance 2



References

*Coined by Blak-T, a good mate of mine(real name undisclosed). Much like the cool robot dance, only visually it may look retarded. Never been attempted.

** Tactical Chunder. A popular move practiced by binge drinkers to rid the body of booze, so one feels better and can continue binge drinking. Put simply, it involves tickling the Uvala(dangly bit) at the back of your mouth until your gag reflex takes over, or just pretending you are bulimic.

** Captain Awesome from the tv series Chuck.

*** Barney Stinson from the popular sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. Played by Neil Patrick Harris.


by gilly11